Finding Your Way Out Of The Cage Of Pessimism
In his classic novel Tess of the D’Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy introduces us to Tess, a young peasant girl who discovers she comes from aristocratic lineage. This revelation, however, doesn’t lead to the life she expected. Instead, it brings a series of heartbreaks and disappointments. In a particularly poignant moment, she’s asked if the stars are like our world. She replies, “They sometimes seem to be like the apples on our stubbard tree. Most of them splendid and sound—a few blighted.” When asked if we live on a splendid or blighted one, she answers without hesitation: “A blighted one.”
Her life of unfulfilled expectations left her with the belief that the entire world was a disappointment, a sentiment many of us can relate to.
The Folly of "Faking It Until You Make It"
The phrase “fake it until you make it” gained popularity in the 1970s, rooted in the idea that if you act like the person you want to be, you’ll eventually become that person. Psychologists like William James and authors like Rhonda Byrne have championed this idea, suggesting that you can manifest your desired reality through make-believe.
A modern-day cautionary tale of this philosophy is the story of Anna Delvey. Bursting onto the New York City social scene, Anna pretended to be a wealthy German heiress. She lived a lavish lifestyle, throwing around hundred-dollar tips and name-dropping the elite. She spun a fantastical tale about a $22 million art foundation she planned to open, all while defrauding hotels, banks, and friends.
Her entire identity was built on a lie. When banks investigated her background, the house of cards came crashing down. The heiress was revealed to be Anna Sorokin, the daughter of a Russian truck driver. Her carefully constructed life of make-believe ended not with her “making it,” but with a prison sentence. Her story shows the stark reality of what happens when expectations aren't just unfulfilled—they’re based on a complete fabrication.
Finding Hope When Reality Disappoints
We all have moments when our dreams don’t match up with reality. Whether it’s in our careers, relationships, or personal lives, disappointment is an inescapable part of the human experience. When these moments hit, we face a choice: do we fall into the trap of cynicism, or do we find a different source of hope?
The world's solution, as we saw with Anna, is to pretend, to project an image that isn't true. But as the Psalms remind us, there's a different, more lasting way. Psalm 146 offers a powerful counter-narrative to the world's wisdom. It tells us not to place our confidence in powerful people or worldly things, because they will always fail us. “When they breathe their last, they return to the earth, and their plans die with them.”
Instead, the Psalm directs our hope toward God. It describes him as the creator of heaven and earth, a being who keeps his promises forever. He is the one who gives justice to the oppressed, food to the hungry, and freedom to the imprisoned. He lifts up those who are weighed down by life’s burdens. Unlike people, who can only disappoint, God's nature is to be faithful and dependable.
The apostle Peter echoed this sentiment, encouraging both men and women to find their significance not in fleeting external things—like appearance, wealth, or power—but in a deep, personal relationship with God. He taught that when we find our purpose and identity in God, we will never be disappointed.
A Future That Exceeds Expectations
Disappointment can lead to a pessimistic outlook, a cynical view of life that prevents us from taking risks and embracing new opportunities. As Helen Keller once said, "No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land or opened a new heaven to the human spirit."
God offers us a different path: hope. Not a wishful kind of hope, but a confident expectation that something good will happen because it is rooted in his character. The reality of who God is and what he has done for us always exceeds our expectations. As the Bible says, he is able to do “immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.”
If you’ve been living in a cage of pessimism, viewing life as one letdown after another, there is a way out. Placing your trust in God—who is forever reliable, dependable, and faithful—can free you from disappointment. He takes up the cause of the helpless and gives hope to the hopeless. When our hope is in him, we can face the future with an optimism that is not based on pretending but on the unshakable truth of who he is.
